


I'm not Broken

by mickymilk



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 00:36:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19756996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mickymilk/pseuds/mickymilk
Summary: Mandy meddles and turns out to be... good or worse?





	I'm not Broken

The multicolored lights danced off Mickey's pale skin and tattooed hands as he tapped his fingertips on the side of his glass of jack and coke. Mickey took a deep breath as he stared into his glass contemplating why he was even there. 

The Fairytale was packed with the usual pack of bodies grinding on one another, the glistening skin with sweat and the loud techno dance music blaring. 

He wanted to get laid, it had been awhile since he could even get a decent lay to satisfy him. It almost pissed him off, Even if he knew what he wanted and liking what he liked didn't make him a bitch. 

Mickey rubbed his hand down his face and pushed his fingers to erase the headache he could feel coming on. 

Fuck this. He wasn't even looking for someone decent. He shouldn't even be here. Might as well call it a night. It was getting late anyway. 

He nodded his head to the bartender to get his tab and after paying he pulled his coat and started shoving his way through the throng of men, when someone grabbed his arm.

"The fuck?" he shook them off turning. It was a blond. Not his type. 

"Hey... Where you going handsome?" he said somewhere between drunk and attempting to be sultry. 

Mickey rolled his eyes. "Nah Isn’t going to work, bye." ready to leave the blond stopped him again this time running his hand down Mickey's chest.

"Come on, I can blow you if you want?"

Mickey grabbed his wrist. "No faggot. Fuck off."

"Ugh fuck you then, your no fun and your just as faggy as me for being here.

At this point Mickey's headache turned into a migraine and he was done. He shoved the guy back and then took off.

Fucking pricks. Fuck the universe. Fuck life. Fuck guys. Fuck it all.

He slammed the door when he got home.

"Well hello to you too fuckface!" Mandy said.

"Mands... Hey didn’t realize you were here"

She walked over to him and thought of a hug but seeing the look on her brothers face she settled for a clamp on the shoulder and an eye roll.

"I told you I was only going to visit an old friend, not that I was fucking off for life... Geez." She said, arms crossed.  
"So what's got you in a pissy mood besides the obvious."

Mandy knew better than anyone the darkness that surrounded Mickey. The emptiness, the hollow part in his heart, that explainable hatred towards everyone. She knew. But she didn’t allow it to stop her. She had tried for years to get Mickey to see someone. Seek help. Do something other than hate the world. But nope, he never did. They had moved out of the hell hole into another shit place but it was still Southside and they still had each other.

"Some fag trying to fuck with me." He said. She rolled her eyes. She knew her brother was gay. She also knew it was something else he hated about himself. That's why the next thing out of her mouth she was extremely cautious to suggest.

"Might do you some good to maybe talk to someone, Mick?" As she turned around she was met with raised eyebrows and a lip bite that meant "oh fucken really".

She raised her arms in surrender "Ok ok it was just a suggestion, don’t get your dick twisted."

He just rolled his eyes "going to shower." he muttered.

'I have to do it' she thought. Quickly pulling out her phone she texted him and asked him to meet her for dinner.

*I'll be there :-) * came the response.

As Mickey came out of the shower and got dressed, Mandy yelled that dinner was ready.

He came out with his hair slightly wet and dripping while he didn't dry himself all the way his muscle shirt had wet spots on it and his sweats were clinging to him, as expected. Mickey expected to have a quiet dinner with his sister. He expected a warm meal and to go to bed early. He expected for his house, their house to his safe haven.

But then the unexpected happened. He walked out of his bedroom to a tall redhead that was greeting Mandy with his arms wrapped firmly around her in a tight hug. They then turned around at the same time. Then the unexpected happened. The big green eyes looked at him. Not at him. Through him. In him. And Mickey all just about lost his breath. He quickly regained his composure.

"Who the fuck is this?" Mickey said.

Ian Gallagher wasn’t surprised at a lot in life. He was born and raised south side. South side was just as cruel and bitter and cold as it was when he had left it 10 years ago. After leaving the army at 22, he had decided to become a therapist for those with trauma from the war. He had it good. He had set up his practice on the North Side and hadn’t looked back at south side for years. Now here he was back with his best friend Mandy and ready to take on the challenge that was Mickey Milkovich. Out of friendship to her, he felt the need to accept her dinner invite even though he knew she wanted him there to possibly get Mickey to open up. She had been telling him how he would not talk to anyone and just went through life in a void being angry and hateful towards everything.

However, Mickey Milkovich did surprise him. It wasn’t the attitude or the offhanded rudeness that surprised him. It was Mickey himself.

Ian looked at Mickey and couldn’t help but feel sorry for him in a way. But then there was a moment of release behind the hard blue eyes. Just a moment where he saw a frantic lost boy. Just a quick moment before the hardness slipped back in and the guard was back up. When Ian first saw him walk out of the bedroom, with just a muscle shirt and low hung sweats that seems to stick to his skin, he felt like his heart picked up double time and he couldn’t breathe. He was beautiful. From the porcelain skin to the thick pink mouth, to the jet black hair and those eyes. He wanted to swim in those blue eyes. The fuck did that come from? Ian thought. Pull it together Gallagher.

Ian cleared his throat and got his head back.

"Mickey!!" Mandy scoffed. "Could you be any fucking ruder!"

Ian chuckled beside her "Its fine Mands, really."

Mickey stood there eyebrows raised waiting for an answer. Crossing his arms to come off like he didn’t give a shit who this tall redheaded giant was, that apparently could just look right through Mickey.

No that wouldn't do, that didn't sit well with Mickey. No one is supposed to see him. No one was supposed to be able to get under his skin and make him lose his own breath. What the fuck was that? he thought. So he regained his composure and asked once again.

"Well, who the fuck are you and why are you hugging my sister like she’s your goddamn best friend?" he spit out.

Now it was Ians turn to raise his eyebrows just as Mandy rolled her eyes.

"Well, actually I am her best friend, and you must be Mickey, I'm Ian." Ian replied completely calm as if Mickeys rudeness wasn’t anything new for him.

"Ian is in town and I asked him over for dinner, he is the friend I was seeing Mick, I was hoping to have him meet the brother I am always talking about." Mandy said hesitantly. Then decided to stare her brother down and narrow her eyes between Ian and him, as if to tell him to chill and be nice.

No fucking way. Mickeys stomach was already forming knots and his mouth was drying up. He felt like his heart was accelerating and his breathing coming fast. This was a bad idea. He could see this shit a mile away. Mandy was always fucking interfering with how he lived his life. He fucking knew she did this on purpose. Bringing in her "friend" for dinner right after she told him to "talk to someone". This better not be the fucking someone she was talking about.

Mandy sensed her brothers reluctance and saw his eyes widen and his Adams apple bob up and down as if he was on the verge of losing it with her. She softened her face "Come on Mick, I made your favorite! Mac and Cheese! Homemade. You know Ian loves mac and cheese too." she said.

"Actually lasanga, but pasta smasta! right!?" Ian said happily. He then turned to Mickey while pulling out a chair.

"Are you joining us Mickey?" He questioned, hoping he wouldn't bolt.

Mickey took a deep breath and sauntered over to the table. "Its my fucken house" he muttered.

Mandy served them all and sat down. Hence to say, they ate in silence and no one opened up that night.

"I'm so sorry about him, Ian. I thought maybe it would be a good idea but I guess..." her voice trailed off.

"He isn't ready Mandy, when he is he will know and he will need to be the one that makes the decision to open up or even to reach out. But he isn't there yet. Look maybe I could come by tomorrow, maybe just hang out, but Im leaving to go visit Fiona out in Florida next week. Should be gone a week." Ian said.

"Thanks, Ian. Love you." Mandy replied with a soft smile.  
"Love you too Mands." and with a kiss on the forehead he was off.

That night Ian tossed and turned with dreams of porcelain skin and hard blue eyes. While on the other side of town, Mickey was up smoking cigarettes as if his life depended on them, wondering how the hell one fucking meet and greet with a tall redhead, made him not able to sleep.

Ian woke early to get coffee and some food for the Milkoviches. His flight didn't leave until 8pm and he had the day to spend with Mickey and Mandy. Mostly Mickey to see if he could possibly get those hard blue eyes to soften. His thoughts were drowning in those blue eyes and that hard demeanor. Mickey Milkovich. He remembered him faintly from childhood. He was the kid no one ever messed with. No one dared to fuck with a Milkovich, especially Mickey. Mandy had filled him in on the harsh reality of Mickey's life, sparing some of the more vicious parts, even she wasnt always around.

But after Ian had left from joining the army at 18 he studied up on PTSD during his tour and after, and figured he could help others. He unfortunatly didnt get that far ahead to be traumatized. It was like Jarhead all over again. He just hoped that somehow Mickey could open up to him, 'In more ways than one' he thought. WTF? damnit Gallagher put yourself in line here. The guy doesnt need you panting after him, he needs help for godsakes. He started getting nervous on his walk to the Milkovich house. Why was he nervous? Just as he started up the stairs to the front door his phone went off.

Ill get it later, he thought and knocked with his elbow to keep the coffees and food from losing grip.  
No answer.  
Ian started pounding a little harder with his elbow for them to open up.  
No answer.  
"MANDY! Come on! Mickey?" He tried.  
He pounded again.

Mickey woke up to pounding at the door. "The fuck" He mumbled. The pounding continued. "Jesus! hold on I'm coming! he yelled.

Rubbing sleep from his eyes and went the front door and swung it open only to have the one and only Ian fucking Gallagher practically falling on top of him.

"SHIT!" Ian yelled. Mickey managed to swing open the door right as Ian was about to pound on it again and of course lost his footing and stumbled in, right as the coffee and breakfast fell from his hands and right onto Mickey.

"FUCKKK!" Mickey screamed and shoved Ian off.  
"Fuck, fuck fuck! Motherfucker that's hot!" as he tore of his tank top and quickly rubbed off the coffee. His skin was already tinging pink.

Ian regained his footing. "I am so sorry Mickey! Oh my god are you ok!? I was bringing you guys coffee and food! Shit are you ok?" Ian was frantic. Eyes wide he took in Mickeys appearance. Realizing he was only in briefs and now shirtless. He sucked in his breath at the sight.

"What the fuck you looking at!?" Mickey sneered with a scowl on his face.

"Oh shit... I'm sorry Mickey, your skin. We need to put something on it." Ian said regaining his composure.

"Fuck man, look at this mess! What the fuck are you even doing here? Mandy ain't here. And ain't got shit to put on it." Mickey was already touching his chest assessing the damage.  
"Ain't too bad. I'm fine." Then Mickey made the mistake of looking up into Ian's eyes. And his breath caught. Ians eyes were wide. He was biting his lip, hard. His hands were still midair and he looked like he was lost for a moment.

"The fuck, man?" Mickey then realized he was practically naked at his front door with a mess on the floor and Ian Gallagher standing there looking like he was about to either throw up, pass out, or lunge. Either way, this morning had not started out good.

"Ummm... theres towels in the kitchen, Im gonna go... Take a shower. Put some clothes on." He muttered.

As Mickey moved, Ian snapped back into his body. "Yea ok, I will clean this up. Sorry Mickey." he said. Then something hit him...  
"Wait a second... Did you say Mandy isnt here!?" Ian exclaimed. Looking at his phone, yup there was the message telling him she couldnt make it. Ian tried to not let it cross his mind that she pulled this on purpose.

Mickey gingerly walked over the mess by the front door and looked over his shoulder at Ian. "Nope, said she had work or some shit. Left early." And with that he had his back to Ian and was quickly trying to get into his room.

'Fucking Mandy' Ian thought. As Mickey turned around and started walking away, Ian had a mantra in his head going on 'dont look... dont look... dont look'.

He looked. What he saw made his pants tighten and his head cloudy. If he thought Mickey in sweatpants was good. Mickey in tight briefs was a whole other level of heaven. He was stacked, and muscled, and damn did that porcelain skin look smooth. Ian could feel the saliva in his mouth start to pool and his cheeks heat.

'Fuck. I am so fucked.'

When Mickey got out of the shower, he contemplated what to wear going back out there. 'Why the fuck was he thinking about what to wear? Who gives a shit what he thinks.' Mickey groaned in frustration as he pulled on his sweats and a cut off tank. Of fucking course Ian was bending over cleaning up the mess right as Mickey walked out. Ian was on his hands and knees wiping up the mess with his sleeves rolled up to his forearms. 'Damn those forearms, fucking freckles everywhere.' 'Fuck.' Mickey decided to make himself known.

"hey..." he said nudging his nose and looking around everywhere but back on Ian. "You need help or you got it?"

"Actually, Im done. Just had to use something other than water to clean it." Ian replied.

Mickey just nodded and plopped down on the couch turning the TV on. He could hear Ian in the kitchen putting things back.

"Hey so uh, since Mandy inst here and I ruined breakfast and coffee, wanna go eat at Patsys Pies?" Ian asked tentatively.

"Why the fuck would I want pie right now?" Mickey asked and rolled his eyes. The fuck was with this guy. Why was he even here? It was frustrating Mickey to have this ginger so close to him. He could fucking smell him. What the fuck is that. Cologne? After shave? Body wash? Fuck.

Ian chuckled. "Um actually, Patsy's Pies is a restaurant that has breakfast lunch and dinner. My sister used to work there before she moved. But I swear they have the best pancakes and the coffee is good. Not Starbucks level but all the same right? I mean coffee is coffee. I guess. But I do want food. Im hungry. Are you hungry?" Ian realized he was rambling and talking so fast that Mickey had turned to look at him and had his eyebrows raised just looking at Ian intently. Ian swallowed and cleared his throat.

"I mean, if you want. If not its fine. Maybe I could hang here with you. Kinda was supposed to see Mandy but since she left I could hang with you, my flight doesn't leave until tonight." He came out with.

"Flight?" Mickey asked.

"Yes, I am going to visit my sister Fiona, she lives in Florida with my family and I am supposed to go visit." "For a week" he added.

"Cool." was all that came out of Mickey. Then seeing the look fall on Ians face he added. "Lets go to this fucken pie place, you owe me coffee firecrotch." And with that we went to go change, while Ians jaw needed to be pried off the floor.

"Lets go" Mickey said as he pulled on his jacket.

Ian let him go first. Damn his ass was nice. Those tight black jeans didn't do justice. and once again the mantra started. don't look... don't look... don't look. Fuck. You are supposed to be helping him not drooling over him Gallagher!

The walk to patsys was surprisingly quick. Turns out Mickey and Mandy only lived a few blocks away. They took the far corner booth and just as they were seated the waitress came to take their order.

"What can I get you? Oh hey Ian! Wow havent seen you in quite awhile! Hows it going?" she said.

"Hey Alice, its good. Just spending time with some friends before I go see Fi." Ian smiled.

"Aww tell her we miss her and would love to see her again." She glanced between Ian and Mickey then and her jaw tightenend at the sight of Mickey. If it wasnt the knuckle tattoos that scared her it must of been the smirk he gave her that made him seem like rough trouble waiting to happen. Alice forced a smile. "What can I get you, two?"

"We will take two coffees, and two orders of your chocolate chip pancakes with eggs, sausage, and hashbrown." Ian answered before Mickey even had the chance to speak. Alice smiled and walked away.

"Did you just fucking order for me like I'm some bitch." Mickey asked fists clenched on top of the table.

Ian just smiled. "Calm down there firecracker, you have never been here before and I know you will like what I ordered. Now tell me something about you that Mandy hasnt already told me, since I would like to get to know you, but from your terms and words."

Mickey lost track of what the fuck just happened. One minute Ian was lost staring at Mickey and stuttering over his words and now the next he is full of confidence just straight out asking Mickeys life story and ordering for him like he knows what the fuck he wants. He looked at Ian and stared him down. Ian only smirked. Not phased by the "Milkovich stare" Mickey just rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Ain't gonna tell you shit. Why the fuck are you asking anyways, arent you Mandy's friend. Not mine. You owe me coffee and food. Nothing else. I will eat and then be gone. I don't need and don't want to talk to you about anything that has fuck all to do with you. You don't know me and you and me aren't friends Gallagher." Mickey spit out.

Ian raised his eyebrows at that. "Gallagher? how did you know I was a Gallagher."

"I remembered you from passing. You were the tall skinny ginger that had the asshole brother and the drunk for a father. Figured it out last night" He replied turning to look out the window, so as not to look at Ian.

Ian smiled and then their food was being set down. Mickey dug in like he was starving and Ian suddenly had the overwhelming urge to always feed Mickey. To always make sure he was full. To make sure he was taken care of. Damnit Ian your relationship needs to be friendship. You need to help him. You need to get him to open up. As Mickey was licking his lips from syrup, Ian just about died. He closed his eyes and when he opened them he found Mickey staring at him confused. Mickey opened his mouth to say something, just as a hand clamped down on Ians shoulder.

"Ian! Hey man hows it been going? We miss you, well I miss you." he said looking at Ian with puppy eyes.

Mickey was staring at the stranger giving Ian puppy eyes and wanted to hurl his hot coffee in his stupid puppy face.

"Hey Sam, its been going good. Gonna go visit the family today and just hang with Mickey here until then." Ian replied smiling and guestering to Mickey.

Sam looked over at Mickey and his eyes widened. "Oh ok, cool. Well I guess I will see you later then Ian? How long will you be gone, maybe when you get back we could... I dont know hang out? Maybe." Sam asked embarrassed to be asking while Ian was with Mickey.

Mickey raised his eyebrows at Ian, wondering if Ian would really go out with this puppy. Of fucking course he was gay. He couldn't even be straight at least to help Mickey get over this overwhelming wave of emotion he felt inside his chest when Ian looked at him. Fuck. Ian glanced over at Mickey and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"We will see, Sam. It was nice to see you." Ian answered indicating that the conversation was over.

Turning back to his breakfast he and Mickey ate the rest in silence. Paid the bill and started back to the Milkovich household.

"So you're gay?" Mickey asked breaking the silence.

Ian stopped walking and looked at Mickey in the eye. "Yes, I am. Is there a problem with that?" He studied Mickeys face.

"Nah man I dont give a fuck if you like shit up your ass." he replied while he started walking again.

"Actually, its more like they want me up there." Ian laughed and nudged Mickey shoulder.

Mickey gulped and looked at Ian. Just then Ian stopped laughing and got serious. "Sorry if thats uncomfortable for you. Are you uncomfortable?" he looked at Mickey expectantly.

"No like I said I dont give a fuck. I was just asking. Now stop asking me questions like your a damn therapist." Mickey said.

Ian stopped once again at that. Thats when it hit him. Mandy did NOT tell her brother that Ian was a therapist. Fuck. He should have told him 'well yes I am a therapist. yes I want to help you. yes you are safe with me' But he didnt. In that moment was the first mistake Ian had made.

As they walked to the front door Mickey turned around suddenly "Hey uh... thanks for breakfast man, guess I will see you around?"

"Yea of course. Well I will be gone a week, but when I get back maybe we can hang out again? I mean if you want." Ian wanted to stay longer and go in but it was obvious Mickey wanted him to leave.

"Look man, we aint gotta be friends or whatever" he said waving his hands between them "just because you and Mands are besties don't mean we gotta be. I don't do friends."

Ian stood there dangerously close to Mickey, "Tell me Mickey, what do you do?"

Mickeys eyes widened. Then they clouded over with darkness and the hardness slipped in. "None of your fucking business" He snapped and with that he walked up and slammed the door.

Ian let out the breath he didnt realize he was holding. This was going to be a long week. Fuck.

Fucking Ian Gallagher. It had been 5 days since he last saw him with his red hair and big green eyes. His stupid big hands and stupid smile. Asking stupid fucking questions. Why was he always asking stupid fucking questions. He wouldn't shut up. Stupid tall tree, ginger man. Mickey stepped back and realized he had done large angry strokes of red paint all over the canvas. He could not get him out of his head. Every single thought went to him.

He had paint all over his hands and t shirt. Fuck. 

Without hesitation, Mickey pulled out the black and started making large X's over the red. Just then his cell buzzed. 

'Ey, need a tow out on Western, want some cash?' 

Mickey typed back. 'yea give me 20'

Mickey had been working for Rokaitis Towing for a year now, but if they ever needed him on a day off he was more than willing for the extra cash. His boss Martin knew he could use it. Never once had complaints about Mickey and always got the job done. Mickey came in did his job and went home. No problems. No issues. Nothing. Literally nothing, not even a beer with the guys after work. Not a hangout at someones house for a BBQ. No friends. Nothing. 

Mickey's thing was paint. It was all he had that he felt he could get some sort of feeling out of. The only other person that even knew Mickey had a thing for painting was Mandy. Not by choice. She happened to come across his canvases when they moved, mostly small stuff he had done, but guaranteed he wasn't ok with his sister going through his shit. She never did again after that. 

Mickey stepped back and looked at the angry red marks and the black that was barely covering them before he got interrupted. 

'fuck it' he thought and went to get ready while his mind was filled with redheaded thoughts with big green eyes and hands. 

"So what do you do besides tow?" Stranger asked.

"Look man, just here to take the car to the shop, you ain't gotta make small talk or some shit." Mickey replied.

"Right. Well thanks. Stupid car is always fucking up on me. You know you look familiar though, have we met before?" Stranger speaks again.

Mickey knew who the douche was. He knew exactly just by the fucking name who the stranger was. He knew he didn't want to acknowledge him either.

Mickey exhaled and said "Nope. Don't think so man"

"YES! I do! Your the guy from Patsy's. You were with Ian. Thats right. " He hesitated then. "So are you guys like a thing or something?" He stuttered out. Mickey wasn't exactly the type you ask if their gay.

"The fuck? Do I look gay to you or some shit!? He is my sisters friend, not that its any of your fucking business!" Mickey spat out at him. "How about you don't talk and we get there in one piece, yea?" He asked raising his eyebrow.

Sam quickly looked away and took a deep breath. "I like him. He left but I guess he's back. We hooked up a few times ya know. But I don't know the way he looked at you, kinda seemed like he was into you or something. I don't know. Sorry man I will shut up now."

Mickey tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Ian into him? No. This fucking guy and his puppy fucking face. Who the fuck? Like Ian would ever go for this shit. But he did go for him. Bet he would, look at him. Big brown eyes with lashes and fucking tanned and shit. Of course Ian would want that, not some thug with issues from the southside. Why the fuck is he even thinking about this? He barely met the guy. Met the big handed, green eyed, deep red haired guy that could probably bend him in half by fucking him hard and deep. Fuck! Mickey adjusted his seating position and realized the puppy was staring at him. Mickey decided to ignore him and hate himself further for even thinking about the stupid redhead that way. Stupid ginger. 

They pulled up to towing and Mickey handed him the receipt. "Take to the guy at front. See ya" and walked off. 

"Thank you Mickey!" Sam yelled after him. Stupid fuck. 

That night Mickey went home and saw Mandy at the table writing something. "Hey" She looked up "Hey Mick, where you go?"

"Went for some cash on a tow" He shrugged. "So uh, you wanna tell me why you stuck me with Gallagher a few days ago? Fucker almost burnt my skin off and crushed me. He asks too many fucking questions. What's he do anyways?" Mickey asked not wanting his sister to realize he was more interested than he let on. 

She looked down at her notebook and continued to write "uh... did he not tell you what he does for a living? And I didnt stick you with him, I got called in for work. I told you and him that. I texted him." She said.

"Whatever and no he didn't tell me." Mickey replied. 

"Ya know, I don't really know. Something about working with veterans. I don't know. We mainly catch up and hang out." She shrugged and quickly got up. "Want dinner?"

"Yea sure." Mickey looked confused. 

'Fucking Ian. Mickey still doesnt know hes a therapist. Can't tell him now, Ian should do it. Yes Ian will do it.' She thought to herself.

"Well Ian is coming back on Saturday. He said he is going to come over, maybe you can talk to him more then?" She said.

"Why the fuck would I want to talk to him more then? He is your friend not mine. Why the fuck do you keep pushing him on me, huh? What's going on Mands?" Eyebrows raised. 

"Nothing! I just think he likes you... not as anything. Just ya know like another guy, I mean it must be hard only having a best friend for girl." She said.

"What he doesn't have any friends? Why the fuck should I be his fall back friend?" Mickey says.

"I am just saying Mick, he is pretty cool and he is my best friend. He is and has always been there for me. I just figured you could get along or whatever. He will be around so I am just asking." She stated.

Mickey thought about it for a moment. I guess Gallagher aint that bad. No he isn't bad. He is hot. Bet he could be bad in bed. Fuck. Decision made.

"Yea alright, fuck it." He said.

"Fi! My flight is in an hour! You were supposed to drive me there already!" Ian yelled. Fiona was always running late, never failed she would be running around trying to do a million things and never on time. 

Fiona came running down the stairs tying her hair in a bun. "Yes yes lets go!" she said grabbing a bag and running out. 

Once in the car Fiona asked "So what are you going to do about Mickey?" 

"I honestly do not know, I know I should have told him what I do, but I got caught up in the moment and I just figured I would tell him later. I don't really want him to know. I feel like maybe he could open up to me without knowing." Ian said rubbing his forehead and feeling a headache coming on. 

"I remember the Milkoviches. Pretty hardcore. The kids were always dirty and Terry was known for his terror through the neighborhood. I'm surprised they aren't all locked up by now." Fiona said.

"Well they aren't and they are not dirty and they are not anything like Terry!" Ian said in frustration. Fiona always just assumed everyone was going to be like their parents. "Look at us. Having Frank and Monica as our parents we didn't end up like them, did we?" he asked.

"I am just saying Ian, Milkoviches aren't exactly our type of people. They don't know feelings. They know harsh words and harsh hands. I just don't want you falling for this guy, who by the way you do not even know if he is gay or not, and trying to have him open up just to get your heart crushed. I mean come on, Terry Milkovich as a father, his son isn't gay-Terry was extremely homophobic and did not stop to say hi to those that were, he was known for gay bashing." Fiona turned and saw her brother clenching his jaw and his eyes glittering with anger. "Don't be mad Ian, I'm just stating facts."

"You don't know shit Fi. You know nothing about them, Mandy is my best friend and Mickey will open up to me. I just need to give him time, show him he is safe with me. That I won't hurt him." 

"If you do not tell him what you do and who you are. You will hurt him." Fiona simply said.

The rest of the car ride went in silence. Getting the airport Fiona pulled him into a tight hug and whispered "I just want you happy and safe sweet face." Ian nodded. "Bye Fi, love you." 

"Love you too."

Getting back to northside took way longer than Ian wanted it too. Between the flight running late and the traffic, by the time Ian got home he was exhausted. He decided to text Mandy he was home, he was suppoosed to go over but he was too tired. Maybe another time, soon. Stepping into the hot shower Ian's thoughts quickly returned to Mickey and he felt himself harden. Fuck that ass was so plump, that porcelain skin, Ian wanted to run his hands all over that skin and muscled back. Before he knew it his hand was on his dick and he was stroking it. Closing his eyes and pressing a hand to the wall he started slow, picturing Mickey on his knees looking up at him with those bright blue eyes and thick pink lips sucking him off and having him beg for more. Fuck it was enough to make him cum. "Ahhhh.... fuck Mickey." Ian moaned and came. 'Fuck' he thought. Mickey fucking Milkovich could make him cum in a matter of minutes just by the thought of him. Ian was so fucked. The water had turned cold and Ian washed himself off and crawled into bed exhausted. Once again his dreams were filled with porcelain skin and hard blue eyes. 

It had been a few days since Ian had returned and Ian could not get Mickey out of his head. From what he had heard from Mandy, Mickey had gotten the brunt of abuse from their father. He would constantly antagonize him so as to take the attention off Mandy. Even their older brother Iggy didn't have it as bad as Mickey. According to Mandy, Terry was killed by some guy who he owed money too, and Mickey failed to help get the pay. In a struggle Terry had been killed by the guy and Mickey was sent to the hospital. After he was released, she made Mickey promise her he wouldn't pull the illegal act anymore. She needed him. Mickey agreed and had gotten straight for her. But after they had found a crap two bedroom apartment still on the southside and moved as fast as possible, not looking back, Mickey had somehow changed. He was angrier, but in silence. He was distant, never pushing forward. He worked. He drank. He smoked. He took care of her. But he had no friends. No happiness. No smiles. Nothing. It was like something had died in him and he was just a void of anger and hate. Mandy had tried for years, even when Terry was alive to get them both out of the hell hole, to get Mickey to talk to her. After Terry's death it was near impossible for Mickey to say a word on how he felt or what was going on in his head. She pushed him for weeks and weeks to see a therapist or even find a friend. He didn't budge. But everytime something was going on with Mandy, she was upset, she was not happy, Mickey had done everything to make sure she was. He would drop for her, she was all he had. But Mandy also felt there was something more to the story behind it, something she didn't know. She told Ian all about the past, at least what she knew. So here Ian was swarmed with thoughts of Mickey and how beautiful he was, even in his anger. He wanted to know what was behind the walls, what would happen if the curtain behind hard blue eyes fell? Ian wanted to get under his skin and in him. He wanted to hear him smile, talk, and laugh with him. He wanted to know him, inside and out. 

He was going over there. He needed to see him. One week was too long. He checked his watch, 'Mandy should be home' he thought. Stopping to get her donuts he knew were her favorite.

When he showed up at the door with donuts in hand, he knocked and once the door opened he came face to face with an upset Mandy Milkovich.

"You said you were coming back on Saturday!" She practically yelled crossing her arms. 

Ian lifted the box of donuts "I got your favorite?" He said with a small shrug and smile. Mandy rolled her eyes, "Fine, come in but do not think you won't pay for making me worried. You text me late your home and then I don't hear from you in two days Ian!" She said leading the way to the kitchen. 

"I know, I am sorry. I was tired from the trip and yesterday I had to go into the office to pick up on some paperwork. I was gone a week and my patients cases have started gaining on me. I have two patients this afternoon with appointments." he explained in a hushed voice.

"Right. Sorry. Mickey is not here by the way." She said.

"Oh right. Well I came for you anyways, I wanted to give you your donuts and let you know I was back and if you wanted to hang out this weekend, maybe we can invite Mickey?" He said looking around. Hoping his disappointment to Mickey's lacking presence was hidden.

Mandy just smiled. "Right. Yea sure, what do you want to do?" 

"Honestly I could use some fun. I need a drink or maybe 3. Did Mickey tell you we had breakfast when you "got called into work"?" He said waiting for her to deny her lack of subtlety. 

Mandy started laughing "Not exactly, he said that you almost crushed him and burned him." Then she hesitated "He also said you didn't mention what you did for a living." The look on Ian's face told her everything. "Ian! You were supposed to tell him, now he is going to think we lied to him or tried to make him talk about his "feelings" UGH! You need to tell him today, or this weekend when you see him. ASAP, GOT IT! I will not lie to my brother for you!" she said irritated with her finger jabbed at his chest. 

"Ok, ok I will. I just thought maybe he could get to know me first before all the heavy stuff came. Ya know?" he said eyes down.

"Wait. wait.." Mandy said putting her hands up. "Do you like him? Are you seriously into my brother Ian!" she asked accusingly.

Ian put his hands up "Wait! no I didn't say that! I just... he's..." Ian looked away trying to come up with the right words. 

"He is just..." pause. "kinda beautiful." He finally said. He looked up to find Mandy with wide eyes while her arms went helpless to her sides.

"You... you can't Ian." She whispered.

Ian felt like a huge wave crashed over him and he couldn't breathe. 

"I am sorry Mandy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overstep. I don't even know if he is... that way." He said waving his hand. "I just know that he... he made me feel something I hadn't in a long time. I know that sounds so crazy, so crazy. I mean I barely met him. I know who he is, but I know I just met him, too." Ian said strained. 

Mandy still didn't answer. Her mind was trying to decipher the right move.

"He is." She whispered, her eyes glistening over.

Ian took a deep breathe and realized what she had just told him, and why that was the one thing she probably shouldn't have.

Right as Ian was about to respond, the door opened and slammed shut. Jolting them both out of the conversation that had taken a intense turn. Both were met with hard blue eyes.

"The fuck are you doing here so early, firecrotch?" Mickey asked, shrugging off his jacket and scarf.

Mandy burst out laughing and took a shaky breath "Mickey! The names you come up with are insane." She said walking over to her brother and saying screw it and hugged her brother hard. 

Mickey was taken aback and was then wary of Ian, he hugged her back just as hard. He pulled back and grabbed her shoulders "You ok Mands? What's wrong?" his voice worried, and then he threw an angry look at Ian pulling his sister behind him. "The fuck you do to my sister!?" he said in a deadly voice.

Ian's eyes widened. "No-nothing!" he replied, somewhat scared at the stance Mickey had just taken as if to attack.

"Mickey no! No... I am just happy Ian is back and then you came into our reunion... haha" She laughed shakily. Looking at Ian with pleading eyes to not let on about the intense converstation that just transpired between them.

Mickey turned back to Mandy to find her smiling and relaxed himself and nodded "Ok." 

Ian stood there not sure if he should speak or not. Mickey was not one to be fucked with, he could see that now. 

He cleared his throat "Um, I should go. I have work in a bit, Mandy?" He said.

She nodded and gave him a hard hug and whispered "Don't hurt him." He pulled her back and smiled, kissed her forehead and headed toward the door. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

Just as he was walking out Mickey called out "See ya later ginger!" and plopped down on the couch with Mandy standing there smiling still at Ian. 

"Later." He said and quickly shut the front door behind him. 

Ian practically stumbled and tried to catch his breath. 'How the hell did that just happen? Mickey is gay. Mickey is gay. Mickey is gay.' kept playing over and over in Ian's head. 'Fuck, he was so far past the line now. How was he supposed to help Mickey and not fall for him?' 

Ian headed home and took a hot shower not daring to touch himself, feeling like a sick pervert for liking a "patient" who wasn't even a patient. He quickly got out and headed to his office. Ian had set up his practice at his home, he had converted the back house to his own office and everything had a security alarm in case patient's got violent. He never told his patient's he lived there and shut down the question if it was ever brought up. He had no idea what to do about Mickey. He wanted him as a patient and he wanted him to be his. What was wrong with him? Mandy seemed terrified that Ian could possibly have feelings for her brother. Shaking his head, Ian started getting his files in order and ready for his first patient of the day.

4 hours later he was exhausted. His two patients had severe trauma and one had the desire to just end it all. Ian rubbed his temples and put his head on his desk feeling the drain. That's what happened with this kind of job, it was draining. You feel these emotions of deep depression, anger, and sadness and wish to God you could help them, take it all away. But in the end it is up to them to put in the effort, to not let it destroy them. Sometimes there is no help. Sometimes a person is just broken, shattered and in agony of the trauma that plays over and over again in their minds. Ian always wished he could do more. 

His phone started buzzing in his desk.

Mandy: Hey if you still wanna hang out, tonight would be good. 

Ian: Yea I could use it. Hey are we going to talk about earlier?

Mandy: Nope. I said more than I should have. Just remember what I said.

Ian: Got it.

Ian was still reeling from the revelation that badass Mickey Milkovich was gay. He was also relieved that Mandy wasn't angry with him. 

His phone buzzed again.

Mandy: Mickey is coming. Meet us at Michaels on Archer 8pm.

By the time Ian arrived, Mickey and Mandy were already seated at the corner booth drinking. Ian took in the sight of Mickey and once again lost his breath. He was wearing a tight black t shirt that seems to make the slick black hair even darker and the blue eyes even brighter. His broad shoulders and arms were practically screaming to be let out. Just as they spotted him, he swallowed hard and headed over. 

"Hey guys" he said sliding in next to Mickey. Mandy was seated at the end on the other side of the booth. 

"Hey Ian. Beer?" Mandy asked calling the waiter over. 

"yea yea" he said while looking at Mickey, trying to figure out his mood of the night. 

Mickey raised his eyebrows "stare any harder and your goin blind Gallagher" Mickey said.

Ian let out a nervous laugh "Sorry, just this is my 4th time seeing you and I don't think I have ever seen you so happy." He replied smiling. Mandy kicked him under the table while laughing. 

"Ey, ain't cause your here so calm down ginger man" Mickey said smoothly.

"I'm starting to think you have a book of nicknames for me, you know you might want to be more creative. Ginger man? really?" Ian asked smiling hard at Mickey. 'Damn those blue eyes and thick lips' he thought. 

Just then the waiter came up. "Hey Mickey, did you want another beer?" the waiter asked smiling brightly at Mickey, failing to realized that his beer was still full. Mandy rolled her eyes and started drinking again. 

Mickey smirked at the waiter "Nah Tom, Gallagher here needs a beer." he said guestering to Ian.

The waiter Tom finally looked over at Ian "Oh hey... what can I get you?"

His eyes flicking back and forth between him and Mickey. 

'This fuck has a thing for Mickey' Ian thought. 'The fuck? No fucken way. _He's mine_.'

Ian was shocked at the thoughts of jealousy that invaded his mind. But fuck if this kid was going to have anything to do with Mickey. 

"You know what, I will take whatever Mick is having." Ian said leaning back stretching out his arm over the booth near Mickey, smiling as he did. 

Jim or Tom, whatever the fuck this tools name was cheeks got red and you could see him caught off guard

"Yea yea of course." as he practically ran off. Mandy started laughing and Mickey snorted. 

Ian said nothing. He didn't dare look at Mickey afraid of the hard blue eyes and if they would be angry.

"The fuck was that Gallagher?" Mickey asked incredulously. Staring at Ian like he had grown two heads.

Ian turned and looked at Mickey. Fuck he was so close to him, he could see the light specks of freckles that ran over his nose and cheeks.

"Nothing, just seemed like that kid was purposely ignoring me with only eyes on you." He stated clenching his jaw.

Mickey rolled his eyes "Whatever, Firecrotch."

Mandy's phone started ringing "Hello? What!? No I am out!..." pause. "Fuck. Fine. I will be there. FUCK!" she said hanging up.

"Sorry guys, Teresa called out and they need someone to cover the nightshift at the diner." She said irritated getting her things. She hesitated. "Uh are you guys going to stay or...?"

"We just got here Mands, we will be fine. Go. Anyways, firecrotch here needs to tell me all about himself." Mickey replied winking at her. 

Mandy quickly turned and gave Ian a hug and whispered "behave" and she was off. 

Tad was setting down Ian's drink as Mandy left. "Thanks Tad." Ian said with a smirk. 

"Actually its Tom." He replied.

Mickey was shaking his head smiling. 

"Ok Tom, bye now." Ian said and turned his attention back on Mickey. 

Tom walked away muttering under his breath. 

"Your staring again, Gallagher." Mickey said taking a drink.

Ian felt this opportunity had presented itself for a reason and he was going to go for it. Bad of him or not, sitting this close to Mickey was making him dizzy and that tight black shirt was doing things to him. He quickly gulped down half of his beer to get some courage and faintly heard Mandy's warning in the back of his head. 

"I like staring at you." Ian blurted out. Mickey's eyebrows raised so high he thought they were melding with his hairline.

Mickey thought for a moment before replying "Is that right?" smirking at Ian. 

Ian's eyes grew the size of saucers. The green took on a whole new shade of darkness and he turned back to his drink taking a sip then licking his lips and giving them a hard bite. He could see Ian staring at his lips and started to bite his own. He was leaning towards Mickey like he wanted to attack. No. That couldn't happen. Mickey thought.

When he first saw Ian walk in with his green combat jacket, tight grey henley and dark wash jeans with brown boots, he was practically salivating over him. Luckily his hard on was hidden by the table and if matters couldn't get any worse he went and acted all jealous putting Tom in his place. Fucking Gallagher. Now he was sitting all close to him and leaning towards him licking his lips like Mickey was a snack he wanted to devour. 

Mickey cleared his throat "So uh... what you ain't got any friends or something? Cause your always with my sister and shit." he asked questioningly. Ian seemed to crawl back into his headspace again. 

"I enjoy Mandy's company actually, she and I have been best friends since before I left for the army. Funny story actually." Ian leaned back and smiled. 

"Oh yea? Tell me about it." Mickey said.

Ian chuckled. "She wanted to fuck me." Mickey almost spit out his drink. Then Ian was patting his back and rubbing his shoulder blades. 'big warm hands' he thought and immediately shook out of it. 

Ian laughed again "Didn't really work since ya know, I'm gay and all." He said and smiled. 

Mickey could breathe again. "Right. Damn. Sucks for her, she usually doesn't take kindly to the word 'no' from tall hot guys." he said taking another drink from his beer. He felt Ian looking at him like he just won the fucking lottery, what was with this guy? 

"You think I'm tall and hot?" He asked. Mickey's eyes widened as it hit him what he just let slip out. 

Sensing the reaction, Ian spoke up "It's cool ya know. I am too so it's not like I judge you. Just for the record, I think your pretty hot too." Ian winked.

Mickey gulped the remainder of his drink and started getting up.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Ian said desperately. Fuck he took it too far. Shit he knew he should have kept his mouth shut. Dropping $40 down he ran after Mickey into the night.

Ian didn't see him. Fuck he is fast. Just then he heard a bang around the corner. He ran toward it and found Mickey kicking the crap out of the trash bin. Muttering to himself. Ian slowly walked towards him as not to spook him. He knew he had fucked up and Mickey probably never wanted to see him again. 

"Mickey?" Ian said softly hands up, as if speaking to a rabid animal. Mickey turned to look at him angrily with hard clouded eyes. He was angry. Shit.

"You don't know shit about me." Mickey said in an eerily low voice just about a whisper. His fists were clenching and unclenching. Ian knew he should have never said anything. Mandy warned him to behave. 

"You're right. I don't. I'm sorry for assuming you were like me. I just.... I'm sorry Mick." Ian replied. He stood there helpless for the second time in a day. Maybe it was the use of Mick, or the genuine demeanor Ian used, but the guard came down and Mickey unclenched his fists. 

"Ian, you aren't wrong" Mickey said quietly. Unable to look Ian in the face. Unknowingly that Ian knew the truth. Ian stepped towards Mickey slowly step by step and gauged his reaction. When Mickey didn't bolt or move backwards, Ian stepped up to him. Nerves running all through his body he placed his hand under Mickey's chin and forced the black haired man to look up at him. When he looked up, Ian saw that the curtain was down. The blue eyes were bright and so beautiful staring through his green, Ian thought he was going to pass out from the intensity. Just then Mickey's tongue flicked out over his bottom lip and he bit it. _'kiss me. kiss me. kiss me._ ' Ian staggered back and took a deep breath. 

Mickey looked lost. "What? What happened?" he said confused, while the curtain was going back into place.

Ian groaned and pulled Mickey by the wrist, Mickey jerked back and when Ian turned around to see hard blue eyes staring back at him. 

"Let's go Mickey." Ian said in such an authoritative voice that Mickey now staggered back.

"I am not going to kiss you in some dirty fucking alley right after you say what I finally want to hear, after drinking and we have barely talked about anything at all." Ian stated. "Let's go. I'll call us a cab." with that Ian started walking back out to the street calling the cab. 

Mickey felt like his whole body was on fire and his head was cloudy after what almost happened. How the fuck did he let Gallagher get to him like that. Fuck. He was about to let his ass kiss him! He has never fucken kissed anyone. Shaking out of it he followed Ian back out to the street and stook awkwardly next to him waiting. The cab came and they quickly jumped in. Ian gave Mickey's address to the driver and then the tension settled in between them. In the darkness of the cab he could feel Ian's eyes boring into him. Mickey was afraid to look, he looked. Ian's green eyes were dark. He seemed bigger, more in charge, his face was flushed and he was drinking Mickey in like a glass of water. Mickey felt his throat dry up and he couldn't close his eyes away from Ian's face. He just stared back. Staring and waiting. Finally they pulled up to Mickey's house and he practically ran out of the cab. 

He could feel Ian walking behind him. When Mickey made it to the front door, he realized Ian had stopped at the bottom of the stairs and was looking up at Mickey. Mickey slowly walked back down waiting for Ian to say something. 

"I'm going to go now, before I do something I know we both want, but shouldn't." Ian stated. 

Mickey couldn't speak so he just nodded the confirmation and turned back around when suddenly two large hands grabbed him roughly by the waist and spun him back around. His eyes went wide as Ian gripped his waist and bent his face to his ear and said roughly "When I do kiss you and when I do fuck you, there won't be anything stopping me, not even you." and then just when Mickey thought the torment was over, Ian went ahead and sucked Mickey's earlobe into his mouth and bit down, causing him to close his eyes and groan.

"Goodnight Mickey Milkovich." Ian whispered.

When Mickey opened his eyes, he was gone.

Ian laid staring at his ceiling in bed trying to wrap his mind over the fact that he took things as far as he had with Mickey the previous night. How could he be so stupid? God Mickey looked so good and he just couldn't help himself. What Ian wasn't expecting was for Mickey to actually confirm that he was gay. He had though. What was he supposed to do now? Mandy was going to kill him. He was supposed to get Mickey to open up, to trust him, to be able to feel safe. Yet he pursued him in a sexual manner and now what if Mickey just thought all Ian wanted was sex? Did Mickey even like him? Remembering the hard blue eyes from the night that seemed angry and scared after Ian basically called him out, make his stomach knot. But then... just then when Ian had called him Mick and said sorry, the guard came down. He was about to kiss him, right there. Probably would have fucked him too. What is wrong with you?

Ian groaned and flopped over to check the time. Crap he had three sessions today, he needed to immediately stop thinking about the Milkovich and pull himself together. 

Ian got up, showered and dressed. Locked up the house and went to the back house, on the way to his desk his phone starting ringing.

_Lip._

_"Hey little bro, heard you got yourself a crush on a Milkovich?"_

Fucking Fiona. Ian rubbed his hand down his face. 

"Hello to you too Lip. and no I do not have a crush. Tell Fiona to keep her mouth shut." Ian snapped. He had enough of his family always seeing others as something to look down on. Just because they had gotten out of the southside didn't mean everyone still there deserved any less. 

_"Yea yea, Mickey right? Yea I remember him, dirty fuck. But hey Terry's son and all. You sure its a good idea to be goin down that road? I mean don't you think you have enough people's problems to listen to? Now you want a new boytoy with issues too?"_ Lip said.

"Fuck off Lip, says the guy who fucks anything with two legs and can't keep a girl for shit. Look my best friend Mandy is his sister and she asked me to be friends with the guy" Fuck. Ian rolled his eyes and smacked his forehead realizing what just came out of his mouth.

_"Oh! So it's a charity case! Ok I gotcha!"_ Lip said. laughing. 

"ITS NOT A FUCKING CHARITY CASE! I LIKE HIM OK! YOU AND FIONA CAN GO FUCK OFF NOW! FUCK." Ian was heated.

_"Whoa, whoa... calm down dude, I was kidding, damn you really like this guy or what? Why you getting all bent outta shape for?"_

"You're a fucken prick, at least call to ask how I am doing not to talk shit on my life choices. Fuck." 

_"Yea your right, sorry man. I didn't think this was like a big thing, guess it is. You doin all right though? I know vets can get to you and just wanna make sure your in the right headspace."_ Lip said in a softer tone.

"Yea, I'm fine. Just... I hate when you and Fiona get like this." Ian said.

_"Look man, I'm coming out to visit in a few months, wanna see you. Just be careful alright? I know when you fall you fall pretty hard. Miss ya."_ Lip said.

"Yea yea ok. I'll talk to you later. miss ya too." Ian hung up. Fuck his family was always messing with his head. Lip was always the one he could talk to but ever since he left to college and got some fancy job teaching robotics and Fiona kept getting in his head it was different. He didn't need them to always be in his business. 

It was almost 5 by the time Ian was locking up his office. He felt seriously drained. Locking up he headed back to the main house and his thoughts once again were messing with him. What did he do? How could he take things that far with Mickey? Who was the stupid bartender that looked at Mickey with those eyes? Did Mickey used to have a thing with him? Is Mickey freaking out right now? Does Mickey even like him? What does Mickey do for a living? What is Mickey thinking about right now? I should go see him. Fuck Ian was all twisted up over hard blue eyes and black hair. Ian had made his decision and changed to head over to the Milkovich household.

By the time he arrived it had already started to get dark and Ian's nerves were getting the best of him. He had huge GIANT butterflies in his stomach. Just as his hand was raised to knock, Mickey swung open the door and practically ran into him.

Catching his footing while grabbing Mickey by the arms to steady him, Mickey looked up and his eyes instantly widened.

"Hi, you know we need to stop meeting like this." Ian said smiling. Still hanging onto Mickey, Mickey shrugged out of his grasp and was staring at Ian like he was an alien. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I came to see you." Ian replied and just then he noticed what Mickey was wearing. His shirt was fitted and grey and he had a blue sweater unzipped covering himself. But it wasnt the clothes that Ian noticed, it was what was on the clothes. Red. Black. Green. Yellow. all these colors where coating his t shirt. Stained. He looked down and noticed his hands and forearms also had smears of red and black on them. 

Without thinking, Ian tugged the bottom of Mickey's t shirt to look closer. "Were you painting?" Ian asked surprised.

Mickey looked like a deer caught in the headlights, he swallowed and said "Yea so fuck if I was?" Eyebrows raised.

"I didn't know you paint."

"Yea there's a lot you don't know." 

Ian took a step back to breathe, the air suddenly felt hot and he was standing entirely still too close to Mickey and realized he was still holding onto the bottom of the t shirt. 

"Ok. Well where are you going?" 

"Ran outta smokes, was gonna go get more" Mickey said shrugging himself out of the intensity. 

Ian pulled a pack from his back pocket and handed them over. "Here you go."

"You smoke?" Mickey asked curious. 

"When I am really stressed or can't get something off my mind... yes I do." Ian replied regarding Mickey with his eyes. "Can I come in?" 

Mickey looked like he was having an internal debate as to say yes or no. "Mandy ain't here ya know."

Ian nodded. "Like I said, I came to see you." 

Mickey looked around for a moment "Yea, ok. Come on." and led the way inside. 

Once inside Ian asked "Can I see what your painting?" Mickey swung around and looked at him. Wrong question. Uh oh. 

"No." was all he said. "Wanna beer or something?" Mickey asked.

"Sure" and he sat down on the couch. Mickey came back and handed him a beer. 

"Hey, uh... I'm gonna go, shower this shit off. I'll be quick. You can uh... chill til then?" Mickey asked hesitantly.

"Of course. I will be here." He smiled and Mickey bit his lip and then turned quickly to go shower. 

Ian stood up looking around, and noticed the door to Mickey's room was open and curiosity had gotten the better of him. He slowly walked towards it and pushed it all the way open. Stepping inside, what he saw made his mouth drop open. 

There were canvases everywhere. Most of them with angry red streaks and black smeared over them. Then there was others all in black with shades of blue and dark greys. There was one in particular though, the one on the easel, it was all black and right in the center there was a door, opened with the colors red, green, and yellow in swirls. Ian was entranced looking through the door. Red. Green. Yellow. Swirls. Behind the door. But everywhere else it was black. Deep black. The darkest. The black was painted with broad strokes some of was splatted and thick with paint as if it was painted over and over and over again. Ian couldn't help but feel what the painting was, a darkness inside a soul with the option of a door with brightness on the outside. Ian didn't hear the shower turn off. He didn't hear the door to the bathroom open and close. He didn't hear Mickey come up from behind him. He didn't hear any of this. But he did hear the voice, the venom in the voice, the pain, and the anger. 

"Get out."   
  
Ian turned slowly and took in the hard blue eyes now clouded with anger and realized he had royally fucked up this time.

Why that redhead had the constant desire to just show up unannounced was foreign to Mickey. What on earth did he get out of just showing up all the time. Ever since their "moment" he couldn't get Ian out of his head. He just couldn't. This fucking redheaded tree was inside of him. Building roots. The way he looked at Mickey, the way he analyzed him with his eyes. His big warm hands, his jealousy, his confidence and ability to stumble his words whenever he got nervous. This fucking redhead. Always looking so good. Mickey couldn't believe he let it out he was gay, the fuck this guy just shows up and all of sudden Mickey is some pussy just spilling his secrets to him. Mickey shook his head as he stepped into the shower. Now of all times Ian would show up right when he is painting him away. Redheaded thoughts clouded his mind. Ever since he showed up in his house it was like he had dug himself under Mickey's skin. Of course his looks had a great deal to do with it too. Fuck he was beautiful. Mickey wanted to wrap himself in those big warm hands and stare into those green eyes. He wanted Ian to never leave. That's what was scary, the fact that a guy he barely knew could get him to feel that way. Was it just sex he wanted? Was it fate? Was it some stupid supernatural feeling that he and Ian were supposed to be whatever the fuck this dance was they were doing? Mickey couldn't help but feel a little trapped at the same time. Fucking Mandy and asking him to be his friend. Fucking redhead. ITS BEEN A COUPLE OF WEEKS DAMNIT. Mickey was berating himself.

Shaking off the thoughts of Ian he quickly got out and dried himself off. Quietly tiptoeing past the living room so Ian didn't catch him half naked, he realized the redhead wasn't in the living room. 

What the fuck?

Then he heard it, movement. From his room. Walking to his bedroom he saw what he feared. Ian was standing in the middle of his room wide eyed and mouth open studying the canvas on the easel. The one Mickey had just finished. A cluster of emotions washed over Mickey in that moment. Anger. Fear. Insecurity. Hatred. Invasion.

But the one that stood out was fear, and for that it turned into pure anger. 

"Get out." 

When Ian turned and looked at him he knew Ian realized he had fucked up. 

"I said, get out Ian." Mickey repeated.

Ian looked to open his mouth and say something but quickly closed his mouth and silently walked out the bedroom. 

Mickey spun and slammed his bedroom door and he felt his chest get tight. He stood there taking deep breaths. Holding himself together. 'you can do this Mickey. you can do this. you are ok.' Mickey chanted the mantra in his head. He had the insane thought of completely destroying everything but as he walked up to the easel and saw his painting he felt he couldn't. Fucking Gallagher. Anger was coursing through Mickey's veins and he took more deep breaths to calm himself. Wait... the front door didn't open or close. Mickey quickly pulled on sweats and a tank, walking out of his bedroom he closed the door and walked to the living room. There sitting on the couch was Ian Gallagher with his head in his hands.

"So I guess the words "Get out" don't seem to mean shit to you." Mickey said crossing his arms, his eyes flashing.

Ian looked up and stood. Green eyes filled with worry and he walked slowly towards Mickey.

"I'm so sorry Mick, I didn't mean to invade your privacy. I just was curious and I wanted to know that part of you. I'm sorry." Ian said softly.

There was that fucking nickname again he just took it upon himself to call Mickey.

For some unknown odd reason Mickey dropped the guard and his arms uncrossed. This stupid ginger of a man would be the death of him, Mickey thought. He looks sad. Fuck. 

"Look man, you can't just go snooping through my shit. I said no and you still went into my room." Mickey said raising an eyebrow at him.

"I know, I'm so sorry Mickey. I just want to know you better." Ian explained shrugging his shoulders.

"Why?" Mickey asked. _Why?_ he thought. Staring at Ian trying to figure him out. 

"Honestly? Because I like you." Ian stated.

Mickey's eyes widened. He likes me? How could he like me? He doesn't even know me.

"You don't even know me." Mickey said.

"I know. I want to get to know you." then added. "Please." Ian said looking at Mickey desperately.

Mickey took a deep breath. He should kick him out, make him leave for snooping, for being fucking stupid but before he could think to say get out again instead, "Sit down, Ian." he said.

Ian looked surprised as he sat down on the couch and waited for Mickey to speak.

Mickey had no idea why Ian wanted to know him, but all honest speaking no one other than Mandy had ever given two shits to know him. He was nothing. He didn't do fucking feelings or relationships. He did quick dirty fucks in alley ways, he did zero small talk. The only person he ever talked to was Mandy, the only person who knew him was Mandy, or at least what she thinks she knows. Ian could have any guy in this world. Guys obviously wanted him, not to mention puppy Sam. So the fact that this gorgeous redhead wanted to know him made Mickey feel the most wanted he had ever felt before in his entire life. It made him get butterflies in his stomach, it made him want to speak to someone other than Mandy, it made him want to look into Ian's eyes and tell him what was inside of him. He could right? Mandy could do it. Why couldn't he do it. He could. The scariest part was... he wanted too. Mickey wanted to tell Ian everything.

And that's what scared him. 

"Why?" Mickey asked again wondering why on earth this beautiful redheaded man wanted anything to do with him.

"I think your..." Ian tried to find the right word. "Interesting and like I said I like you." He settled on. "I want to know more about you." 

Mickey stood there rubbing his two fingers over his bottom lip trying to figure out the redhead. His eyes looking at green. 

Ian stood up and walked to where Mickey was standing, placed his hands on Mickey shoulders and said, "If you don't want to talk to me yet that's fine, your paintings are beautiful. I'm sorry I invaded your privacy, and I want... I hope you can forgive me." 

Mickey felt himself relax. "Fine. Just..."

Mickey swallowed struggling with inner turmoil. Ian had said yet. As in Mickey would eventually talk to him. What if he scared him away, what if he thought he was crazy. What if he didn't come around anymore and Mandy was left without a friend. 

Ian dropped his hands and stared intently on Mickey "Just... What?"

"Just don't... I mean expect too much." Mickey replied quietly. 

"Ok." 

Mickey looked surprised. "Ok? That's it."

"Yea, I mean I did just invade your privacy soo.. Yea. Ok." Ian smiled. "However I do want to ask you one thing." 

Mickey felt his stomach tighten. Fuck.

"Ok... What?" Mickey asked uneasily.

"Will you go out with me?" Ian asked. 

Mickey stepped back looking wide eyed at Ian. He wanted to go out with him. With him. Why? What the fuck?

"Like a date?" Mickey asked, really unsure if what the fuck was now happening.

"Yes like a date. We can get dinner and I dont know... Hangout. Talk. Whatever." Ian said shrugging and turned to sit back on the sofa. 

Mickey looked lost. "But I don't do dates... Or whatever" he said waving his hand around.

Ian grabbed the remote and settled back flipping on the TV and looking through what was on. He turned back to Mickey "Well I would like you to do a date with me." He said kindly. 

Mickey shuffled his feet looking down at the ground then back up to Ian. He crossed his arms, uncrossed them. Nudged his knuckle on his nose, and took a deep breath. He could do this, he was asking him out. He liked him. Mickey could do this. The strange thing was, Mickey wanted to do this. Fuck. "Yea fine whatever." He answered and walked over to sit down next to Ian. He could see in his peripheral vision Ian was smiling at him. 

"Keep smiling like that and there ain't gonna be a date and I'm gonna knock your teeth in." Mickey said with absolutely no malice or intent behind the statement. 

Ian just laughed. "Yea ok Mick." Turning his attention back to the TV. 

"Want another beer, I mean that ones probably warm now?" He asked.

"Sure."

Mickey went and grabbed two beers and handed one to Ian before settling back onto the couch. He become keenly aware that he was sitting closer to Ian than he had originally been and it was making the room hot. Fuck. One second I want to kick him out the next he's asking me on a fucking date. _A date_. The fuck, a date. Stupid fucking ginger. Mickey turned his head to find Ian staring at him. 

"The fuck... What?" He asked more forcefully than intended. 

"What are you thinking about that hard?" 

"What? Nothing, how do you even know I'm even thinking hard about shit?" Mickey asked surprised.

"Your eyebrows squinch together right here." Ian said as he leaned over and smoothed out the wrinkles between Mickeys eyebrows. His breath hitched. Ian was looking directly in his eyes and his hand didnt disconnect with Mickey's face, in fact he ran his fingertips tracing his eyebrows and down his right cheek. Mickey felt like his face was on fire. He felt like he couldn't breathe. Ian was so close to his face he couldn't tear his eyes away from green. His whole body felt on fire. _Push him away._ _Push him off. Tell him to leave._ But he couldn't even move, he sat perfectly still as Ian continued to trace his face with his fingertips. 

Ian traced the side of his face so lightly like a feather but felt like he was leaving behind electric impulses with every movement. Ian's fingers slipped down to his jaw and up to his chin. He placed the pad of his thumb just under Mickey's bottom lip and by instinct he put soft pressure and Mickey's bottom lip involuntarily popped out. Ian sucked in his breath and his green eyes went a shade darker. 

Mickey thought he was going to explode with Ian being this close to him. He couldn't tear himself away. Ian was leaning closer now and Mickey could smell him. It was intoxicating. Cinnamon, cigarettes, and beer. Ian must of been chewing cinnamon gum. Without thinking Mickey flicked his tongue out and licked his lips. 

Ian's nostrils flared and his eyes went wild. In that second Ian surged forward and latched onto Mickey's lips. Attacking his face, placing his other hand on Mickey's he took control and licked his tongue over Mickey's lips commanding them to open. Mickey allowed him to enter and Ian shoved his tongue in licking inside and slotting their mouths together all while holding Mickeys face in his hands. 

Mickey felt hot and wet all over getting hard. He was kissing Ian. Ian was kissing him. He never felt this... this pull in his stomach. He never kissed anyone before. He didn't know what to do. His eyes stayed open and then he closed them and reveled in it. Ian tasted delicious, like cinnamon and a hint of beer with nicotine. Mickey realized he still had his hands on the couch and now gripping the cushion. Ian licked and sucked Mickey's tongue and swirled it over and over. Mickey did the same back he licked inside Ian's mouth and the groan from the back of Ian's throat just about made Mickey cum. He was hard as a rock straining against his sweats. Mickey then copied Ian and grabbed his face and ran his hands through Ian hair at the nape of his neck and gripped it there. Ian pulled him closer and Mickey was getting lightheaded.

It was all tongues, teeth and heat and saliva. It was a mess. A beautiful mess. Ian was eating his mouth as Mickey was trying his hardest to eat him back. Mickey decided to tug on Ian's bottom lip with his teeth and then lick it. Ian groaned again and licked Mickeys full lips before going back in. Both were clutching at each other feeling the heat between then pool and they were barely breathing.

Mickey felt on fire and lightheaded. He thought he was going to pass out. His lips were going raw and puffy and he could feel Ian's lips just as raw. Could you cum just from a kiss? He thought. Fuck Ian was everywhere filling all of his senses. He was kissing him. Eating him. Licking him. Groaning. He couldn't breathe and he never wanted to stop. 

Ian finally let up pulling back just an inch and staring into Mickey's eyes. Green into Blue. Blue into green. It was like he could see everything and know everything. Mickey suddenly felt exposed. Raw. Open. He let go of Ian's neck and closed his eyes taking a deep breath. 

Ian dropped his hands, looked down and saw Mickey tenting his sweats, he licked his lips and Mickey could hear him breathing harshly to get air back in his lungs. When Mickey opened his eyes Ian was still staring at him. His face was flushed and his lips puffy red and raw. His eyes were blown out and his hair was mussed up. Mickey opened his mouth to say something, just as the front door opened.

"Hey guys!" Mandy strolled in. 

Both backed off each other and cleared their throats. Mickey shoved his hardness down and grabbed his beer and took a huge swing of it. 

Mandy eyed them both "Are you two ok?".

Ian cleared his throat. "What? Yea Mands. What's up?" He said face flushed. "It's hot in here." He laughed and Mandy just looked at him like he was crazy.

"Uh... Ok weirdos, well I was gonna order pizza, if you guys are hungry." She said as she walked to her room. 

Mickey let the the air whoosh out from his lungs. He hadn't realized he was holding his breathe. He took a chance glance at Ian, he ran his hand through his hair and looked at Mickey. 

"Wow." Ian said still out of breath. 

Mickey raised his eyebrows and nodded. Cleared his throat. "Yea... Wow." They turned their attention back to the TV. 

What the fuck just happened? Mickey thought.

That night after Mandy had passed out on the couch exhausted Mickey looked up at Ian from the armchair. Green eyes boring into Blue. Mickey bit his lip and then looked at his sister. He stood up and gently shook his sister. "Hey Mands, come on... I'll take you to bed."

"No" she mumbled. But still turned to her brother as he picked her up and cradled her. Mickey looked over at Ian who was already picking up the pizza box, plates, and scattered beers. Mickey adjusted his sister and nodded to Ian to signal his taking Mandy to her room. 

Mickey then took his sister down the hall to her room, laid her gently down and pulled the blanket over her. "Night Mands" He whispered. Then closed the door. Took a deep breath and headed back out to Ian. 

Ian was pulling his jacket on as Mickey came back out. "Hey, going now?" he asked.

"Uh... yea. I mean I got an early start tomorrow and its late. I'm sure you have work and stuff." Ian said.

Mickey tentatively took a step towards him "Yea I do, so uh... we good?" 

Ian smiled and slowly walked towards where Mickey stood. When he was directly in front of him he stared at Mickey to force him to raise those beautiful blue eyes. Mickey finally met his gaze and stared right back. 

"Yes Mickey, we are good. But you still owe me a date. Give me your phone." Mickey's eyes widened. 

"Why?"

"Just hand it over." Ian said palm stretched out.

Mickey hesitated but pulled it from his back pocket and handed it to Ian anyway.

Mickey watched as Ian entered his phone number and handed it back to him. 

"Call me or Text me. Just... call ok." Ian said hopefully.

"Uh, I'm not really a caller." Mickey said nudging his nose uncomfortably. 

Ian smiled at that. "Ok Mickey." 

His eyes darted between Mickey's eyes and his lips. Then without second thought, he dropped his face to capture Mickey's lips in a quick kiss.

Mickey's breath caught and Ian swallowed it down. He picked his hand up to Mickey's face and cradled it softly, flicking his tongue gently across his bottom teeth. 

Mickey grabbed Ian by his jacket and pulled him in closer to deepen the kiss. It went soft and sweet to desperate and needy in a matter of seconds.

God kissing Ian was like being on fire and ice all at once. Mickey felt it down to his toes. Just before it became more, Ian stepped back and stared into blue eyes.

"Wow." He said. Mickey chuckled. "Yea we said that already." He replied clearing his throat. 

"I need to go, before I do something we both know I shouldn't do." Ian said adjusting his jacket and backing up to the front door. 

He turned back around to Mickey quickly "Call me. Please." Mickey just nodded, not trusting himself to speak anymore.

Just as he closed the door, Mickey slumped down against it. Fuck.

Just on the other side of the door, Ian took a gulp of cold Chicago air and tried to clear his mind. Fuck. 

It had been a week since the intense kisses between him and Mickey. Ian had been going crazy since. He couldn't believe how far he had taken that moment. It took every ounce of willpower not to flip him over, shove his sweats down and fuck him breathless. Of course Mandy walking in could also be another reason he didn't do it. Fuck Mickey made him crazy. His thick pink lips tasted even better than he could have imagined. Everything about him inticed Ian. His eyes were the most beautiful and yet the most painful. He had the body of perfection. Ian wanted to get under his shell and into his heart. Into his heart. What the hell was wrong with him? He did say yes to a date though. He said yes. Yet it had been a week and no word. 

Ian ran his hands down his face groaning. Why was this so complicated? Fuck. His phone started vibrating from his desk and he groaned again. Lip.

"What?" Ian snapped.

"Whoa dude... way to answer." Lip spit back.

"Sorry, it's been a long week. What's up?" Ian replied softer.

"Just calling to tell you I am coming down in 2 weeks. I'm getting time off earlier than I thought. You got room for me in your precious mansion?" Lip joked.

Ian started laughing. "Yea man of course, you need me to get you from the airport or no?"

"Nah man, I'm good." Lip said.

"Alright, I'll see you in two weeks." 

"Later, man." click.

Now to take a long cold shower and erase thoughts of Mickey. Ian thought.

Mickey could not get Gallagher out of his head. Every thought went to the redhead. That kiss. Mickey ran his hand through his hair and took another drag of his smoke. Damn that kiss. Mickey hadn't kissed a guy before, let alone a girl. But kissing Ian was like coming up for air. His entire body felt like fire and ice with him. He felt like his whole body just tingled to touch him. The way Ian held his face, the way he bit his bottom lip, his tongue, his eyes, his smell, that body. Mickey put his head back against the brick closed his eyes and groaned. Fuck that body and that kiss. Mickey never wanted to kiss anyone ever again that's how the kiss made him feel. It was scary enough he wanted Ian like that. Now the guy asked him on a date. Gave his number. Mickey thought of a dozen times to contact Ian. But in the end, he still hadn't. His phone buzzed. Martin.

"Yea"

"Eh got a tows, where you at?" 

"Out taking a smoke, be right in" and Mickey thew the cig down and stubbed it out with his toe. Gallagher and his kisses could wait.

Martin was at the front desk filling out paperwork when he saw Mickey walk up. 

"Hey go out to 42nd, need a tow." Martin said handing Mickey the address. Mickey took the paper and started to walk away when Martin called him back.

"Ey Mickey!" he said.

Mickey turned and eyed his boss, "What's up?" 

"Ey, some of the guys are going to Michael's after work. You uh, wanna go?" He asked doubtfully.

"Nah man, have fun though." Mickey turned and walked away.

Those guys always wanted Mickey to hang out. Mickey got into his truck and started out to his job. If he was going to hang out with anyone it would be Gallagher. Whoa, so much for not thinking about the redhead. When Mickey got in the truck and started to drive his mind also starting going. It had been a week, maybe Ian had already forgotten about him and the stupid date. Maybe he was over it. Ian has probably kissed a lot of guys, the guy doesn't seem to have a problem being out. Unlike Mickey who just got used to the idea a few months after... Mickey shook his head refusing to go to that place again. Ian Gallagher was making him think about shit he didn't need to be thinking about. What was it about this guy. He was truly getting under his skin. God he wanted to kiss him again. He wanted to do more than kiss him. Before it was ok, he looked from afar and figured he could lust after Mandy's best friend. Now here he was all the time. Everywhere. Asking questions. Making sure he was comfortable. Looking at his paintings. Kissing him. Fuck Mickey wanted to shut this shit down. Fast. No that's not what you really want the voice in the back of his mind thought. What you want is to have Gallagher bend you in half and forget your name. You want him around, laughing, smiling, making stupid comments, holding you tight with his big warm hands. 

Mickey was truly fucked.

He got to his destination and towed the girls bug to the shop. She was a talker. All bubble gum and strong perfume. 

"Thanks ya Mick!" She said snapping her gum and flitting her eyelashes. Mickey just looked up at her and said "Aint my type." then walked away.

That night when he got home, he texted Ian. 

**Mickey:** Hey

Ian was sitting at his kitchen island on his laptop when his phone buzzed on the counter top. It was Mickey. Ian almost dropped his phone. Mickey. Nervous hands he picked up his phone and replied.

**Ian:** hey there

**Mickey:** so uh, wanna still go or whatever?

Ian couldn't help the smile that broke out over his face.

**Ian:** Yes of course, thought you were never going to text me. 

**Mickey:** Yea, uh sorry bout that. Busy n shit. 

**Ian:** It's fine, I understand. Well are you free tonight?

**Mickey:** Uh... yea sure. whatever.

Ian laughed at that. The more Mickey seemed to try and put him off, the more Ian wanted him. 

**Ian:** Ok well how about I pick you up at your place around 8?

**Mickey:** That's gay. Just tell me where to meet you. 

**Ian:** HAHA! Well I am pretty sure we are both gay, but whatever you are comfortable with. 

**Mickey:** Whatever. Michaels?

Michaels? Again. Ian thought. Then a surge of jealousy coursed through him. Tim, Tad, Tom whatever that fucks name was worked there. Is that why Mickey wanted to go there again? Fuck.

**Mickey:** ?

**Ian:** uh... sure fine. But I thought that was just a bar. 

**Mickey:** Best burgers man.

Ian thought it over for a second, if Mickey was comfortable there then that's where they would go. Even if Ian didn't like it, at least he would be the one with him.

**Ian:** Ok. See you there at 8. Wear blue. ;)

**Mickey:** Fuck off with that. See ya.

Mickey couldn't help but smile at the stupid redhead. Surprised that Ian agreed to go with him to Michaels again. 

It just so happened that the clean shirt Mickey had was the dark navy blue v neck. It just so happened that his fitted black pants were also the only pair of cleanest and nicest jeans he had. He did not wear the blue for Ian or because he told him too. Mickey felt his palms starting to sweat as he looked at himself in the mirror. Shit he went and agreed to a date with the ginger tree and here he was hoping he looked nice enough for Ian to notice. Mickey had slicked his black hair back and grabbed his black jacket before heading out the room. He was nervous. Fucking redhead. 

Mandy looked up from the couch and let out a whistle. 

"Wow! Have you seen my brother? He is about your height and usually looks a bit rugged? Mandy asked laughing.

Mickey flipped her off "Fuck you, just goin out."

"Going out with who?" her blue eyes fixed on his face.

Mickey nudged his nose with his knuckled and started putting on his jacket mumbling that she barely heard him "Uh Ian." and he turned to start walking out. 

"Im sorry did you say Ian!?" Mandy asked jumping up. "Your going out with Ian. Like a date? You don't date. Is it a date? Did he ask you? Did you ask him? Wow you look really nice bro. Out huh?" She asked getting in front of him with the biggest smile on her face.

"Calm the fuck down, he asked if I wanted to go eat and I said yes. What's the big fucking deal." Mickey asked eyebrows raised. 

Mandy looked like she relaxed her excited composure. "I am just happy for you Mick, it's not everyday you say yes to someone. I am just happy your going. That's all." She said.

Mickey sidestepped her and grabbed his keys. Shrugging on his jacket he looked back at her "Yea I'll uh... be home later." 

"Bye!" and he closed the door. Don't be nervous he thought to himself.

Mickey ended up arriving to Michael's 15 min earlier and to his shock Ian was already there. He was in the same back booth already nursing a beer. Mickey couldn't help noticing how hot he looked. He was wearing a dark green long sleeve that hugged his muscles in every way possible. His red hair was like fire, slicked back and combed perfectly. Mickeys pants automatically tightened. He cleared his throat and decided to make his way over. Ian looked up and his eyes caught Mickey as he was walking towards him. They stared and Mickey walked towards him like a magnet. Unable to break the gaze, Mickey slid in the booth and got closer to Ian that he intended too. Ian was drinking him in like water. Mickey swallowed and cleared his throat. 

"Hey.." He finally broke the trance and grabbed a menu. 

"Your here early." He stated.

"Yea, so are you.." Ian replied smirking slightly. 

Mickey looked over the menu and into Ian face "Yea, I ended up on my way earlier than I thought. Anyways..." Just then Tom walked up. 

"Hey Mickey! Your here. Can I get you anything?" He asked with a wide smile, making it more than obvious that he was also drinking Mickey in like a cold glass of water. 

"He will have a jack and coke." Ian said interrupting and glaring at Tom with a death look. 

Mickey raised his eyebrows and the corner of his mouth turned up into a smirk.

"Is that right Firecrotch?" 

Ian turned his eyes back to Mickey and stared at him hard. "Yes that is right _Mick,_ I mean, I know that's your favorite." Ian said eyes glittering. 

Mickey couldn't help but choke out a laugh and just smile at the stupid redhead. "Actually I prefer something with a little more orange color to it." Mickey played right back. 

Ian raised his eyebrows. "Is that right?"

Mickey nodded still smirking and then licked his lips, he caught Ian's eyes widen and darken at once. 

Tom cleared his throat. "Uh Mickey, what did you want to order?" He asked less confident. 

Mickey tore his eyes from Ian "Ill start with a jack and coke and a burger. You know which one Tom, and uh get one for firecrotch here too." He said. 

Tom nodded and quickly hurried away.

Mickey looked back over to Ian "Wanna tell me what that was about?" 

Ian rolled his eyes and shrugged. "The guy wants to fuck you Mickey. If you can't see how obvious that is, then your more naive than I thought. Let's not play that game." Ian replied and took a drink of his beer. Cocking his head to the side to determine Mickeys response to what he just said.

Mickey's eyes widened and he burst out laughing. 

"Really Gallagher? That's the card you wanna start off with, can't just admit your a jealous bitch huh?" He said laughing. 

It was Ian's turn eyes to widen. He couldn't help but laugh along with Mickey, his laugh was infectious and the fact that Mickey was smiling and laughing and it was caused by him. It made Ian smile. 

"Whatever, just don't like some dick trying to take what's mine." Ian said.

Mickey immediately stopped his laughing and his face darkened. "Who the fuck said Im yours?" 

Ian thought it better not to play the intimidation card and just reply honestly.

"Well the fact that you are on a date with me. Is one. The fact that we are now in the kissing zone. Is two. And the fact that I asked you to wear blue. and yet here we are." Ian said.

Mickey bit his bottom lip and scratched the back of his neck turning his head. 

"Yea whatever, aint saying Im yours though." Mickey said. Just then the waitress stopped by and set their plates down. 

They dived in. 

Ian couldn't help but notice the way Mickey licked his lips and had a dot of ketchup on the corner of his mouth. 

Mickey caught him staring and licked over his lips. 

"Somethin catch your eye, Gallagher." he asked smirking.

"You have my eye, Milkovich." Ian said darkly. 

Mickey cleared his throat not ready for that part of the night just yet. He picked up his drink to take a sip and then cleared his throat. 

"So what's your story Gallagher? What do you do? I mean stalking tow truck guys and hanging onto their sisters can't be what you do everyday." Mickey asked laughing to himself. 

Ian's face turned serious and Mickey almost felt like he over stepped his statement.

Ian cleared his throat... "Well uh... I help people. Veterans actually. I help them... transition into life. Again." He replied.

Mickey nodded. "So how do you help them transition. War's hard, what do you do for them." he asked taking a bite out of his burger.

Ian squirmed in his seat uncomfortably. He knew this moment would come up. This question. As much as Ian didn't want the night to come to an end and as much as he wanted to continue on with Mickey, he knew he had to tell him eventually.

Mickey was looking at him intently waiting for his response. Ian took a long drink from his beer cleared his throat and grew some balls.

"I walk them through any trauma they may have endured during war, I help them." He said warily. Gauging Mickey's reaction.

Mickey raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side, almost as if he was sizing Ian up.

"Yea I could see it." He said.

"I'm sorry, what?" Ian asked confused.

"You. Helping people. No offense but you kinda seem like a puppy. So helping vets seems like your kinda job." Mickey said and continued eating.

Ian was the confused one now, he expected Mickey to freak after knowing what he did for a living.

"Well I help them through trauma." He said slower, hoping Mickey would catch on.

"So.... you tryin to tell me something Gallagher? Or you just think I didn't hear you?" Mickey asked eyebrows raised blue eyes going hard.

Ian shook his head "No, I'm just saying I help them with trauma. Technically speaking, I am therapist. For trauma." Ian said, feeling his palms starting to sweat.

"I understand what your saying Ian, I'm not stupid. Shit I don't give a fuck what you are, just do me a favor and don't try and pull some therapist shit on me. It won't work. Now are you gonna keep acting weird or can we chill?" Mickey said fists curling on the table.

Ian looked incredulously at Mickey, he had called him Ian. Actually used his name. Could this man be any more amazing? "No Mickey, of course not, just thought it would be weird is all." he replied.

"Why would it be weird?" Mickey asked.

Ian then saw the problem. It wasn't that Ian was a therapist. It was the fact that Mandy knew he was a therapist. It was that, the initial meeting was to give Mickey therapy unconsciously. Mandy hadn't told Mickey what he did for a living.

Mickey was looking at him waiting for an answer. "Why would it be weird, Gallagher?"

Ian cleared his throat "Nah, just saying most people are weirded out by therapists and shit." he answered.

Mickey shrugged and finished off his burger. "Nah man, I don't care. Now if you were trying to give me some type of shit, I would have a problem." he said pushing his plate back. "Your not trying to give me some therapy voodoo shit are you?" Mickey asked.

Ian had to laugh at that. "What no!" Mickey smiled then and bit his bottom lip looking Ian over.

"So uh...Wanna go back to my place?" Mickey asked standing up.

Ian threw down some bills, "Yes please."

Mickey nodded smirking and pulled his jacket on, having Ian follow him out.

The cab ride back to Mickey's was the longest ride ever. Mickey felt like he was crawling out of his skin, he wanted Ian so badly. All those stolen moments of heat and all those devouring looks had finally come to a head. The hot kiss was the tip of the iceberg, now here they we're staring into each others eyes waiting for the moment where they could devour one another. Mickey looked at Ian's darkened green eyes and that chiseled jaw and he wanted to rip his seat belt off and straddle him right then and there. 

Finally they were there and both scrambled out tossing the cab driver some money and both men ran up the doorsteps. Both looked back to the cab who was pulling away wanting to fuck right there on the stairs and Mickey couldn't get his key in fast enough. 

Ian crowded behind Mickey and didn't hesitate to grab a handful of perfect plump ass. Mickey groaned. Fumbling and finally turning the key as he and Ian stumbled in. Ian slammed and locked the door quickly, followed Mickey to the hallway to his bedroom and then snaked out his hand to snatch Mickey by the wrist and pin him to the closest wall. 

"Fuck Mickey, do you have any idea how badly I want you." Ian asked lowly in Mickey's ear as he pinned him with his body. Ian nuzzled his jaw with his nose then flicked his tongue out to lick Mickey's jaw to his earlobe and bit down and sucked. 

Mickey's took a sharp intake breath and he was getting lightheaded. Ian had the capability go turn him inside out with just a touch. He felt Ian's entire body pressed up against him and could feel every bump and ridge of this torso and the straining member aching to be free against his stomach. 

"Mandy home?" Ian asked as he continued sucking and licking at Mickeys ear and neck. 

"Who fucking cares." Mickey snapped and managed to shove Ian off of him so he could get to the bedroom. 

Ian was practically pawing his way through Mickey's clothes as they stumbled through the hallway to get into privacy. Finally they made it in and Mickey kicked it shut before he looked back to Ian and saw him practically charge at him. 

Teeth clashed and tongues fought. The heat in the room had risen and both men we're frantically tearing at one another's clothes shoving and tearing them off. Finally they we're naked and they both stepped back to just drink each other in. Both with pale skin and darkened eyes with hard ons straining for release. Mickey could see every defined muscle of Ian down to the huge dick that was at attention just waiting for Mickey. Freckles littered his skin and damn did Mickey just want to him buried inside of him as soon as possible.

Mickey looked up at Ian in the eye "Fuck me."

Ian lost his breath. He could feel the hunger and lust in the room and fuck if Mickey speaking while aroused wasn't the hottest thing Ian had ever heard. 

"Fuck" he choked out. He shoved Mickey onto his bed and Mickey assumed the position. Naked in all his glory with that beautiful pale skin and bubble butt Ian was about to cum just from the sight. 

"Shits in the drawer. Hurry the fuck up." He growled. 

Quickly Ian grabbed the lube and condoms and messily squirted lube and straight onto Mickey's hole and then he roughly shoved 2 fingers in opening him up. 

"Fuck... Sorry this is going to be quick. " Ian panted out. 

"Yes. Just get the fuck in me, I need it man. " Mickey said dropping his head between his shoulder blades as Ian made quick work to open him. 

Ian tore open the condom rolled it on quickly, grabbed onto his hips and lining himself up to Mickeys entrance he entered him in one swift move, sheathing himself inside entirely. 

Mickey fell forward at the impact "FUCK!" He choked out. 

Ian held his eyes shut, fuck fuck fuck he was so tight. "Your so tight. Shit Mick" 

"Move!" Mickey cried. He had never felt to filled. Ian was behind him rocking, trying to get Mickey used to the feel. 

Ian heard the command and pulled all the way out to the tip and slammed back into Mickey. 

"Ah... " mickey moaned. "Come the fuck on man, give it me hard." 

Ian heard no more. He started fucking Mickey at such a brutal pace and the moans and obscene slew of 'fucks' and 'harder' from Mickey only spurred Ian on harder and faster. Both men were panting and Mickey was clawing at the sheets clutching so hard, his knuckles were white and he was clenching his hole from Ian's assault. 

He couldn't hold back any longer "I'm cumming Mick, fuck Ima cum" Ian cried as he started furiously slamming in and out of Mickey. 

Mickey dropped his hand to his dick and tugged on it twice before he was spilling all over the bed sheets. 

Ian came right after. He collapsed on top of Mickey still inside him then realized he might be smashing him even though Mickey hadn't said a word. He managed to roll over to his back, pull the condom off and tie it before tossing it to the small trash bin by the side of Mickey's bed. 

Both men were still out of breath panting from exertion. 

Finally their breathing slowed down and Mickey forced his jello legs to grab the towel from his floor to wipe himself. Throwing himself back in the bed away from the now drying cum he looked at Ian who had his eyes closed and was regulating his breathing. His hair red and flaming with soft freckles Mickey had the urge to kiss. 

Fuck he is beautiful. Mickey thought. 

Ian opened his eyes and turned to look at Mickey now settling back into the bed and Ian couldn't help but admire the beautiful blue eyes, pale skin and black hair. 

Fuck he is beautiful. Ian thought. 

The next thing they knew, both were asleep. Each dreaming of green and blue eyes with pale skin. 

Mickey woke up to strong, pale, freckled arms holding him and the sun streaming into his room gently lighting up the beautiful redhead that was fast asleep behind him. He shifted and tilted his head to the side and caught the sight of red hair, it seemed to be even more red with the sun, like fire setting in the sun. It was painfully beautiful. He didn't try to take himself out of Ians arms, he felt... safe. Then Ian seemed to sense his awoken state and the redhead slowly opened his eyes to his. A smile slowly made its way on Ians face and Mickey's breath caught. He blinked trying to guage the state of mind the redhead was in, he got his answer when Ian dropped his head and gave him a swift kiss on the lips. Disentangling himself from Mickey's body he turned and started to get up and dress.

Mickey's heart for some reason dropped. "You don't have to leave ya know" he said quietly, pulling himself into sitting position and daring to look over at the redhead.

Ian turned slowly to Mickey and his face was bright was happiness, he then dropped his pants and boxers back off and crawled back into bed next to him. 

He slowly crawled over Mickey and leaned his head into his neck and took a deep breath.

"Are you smelling me Gallagher?" Mickey asked laughing and shoving him off.

"You smell so good Mick." Ian replied and laughed as Mickey was trying to shove him off. 

"Freak."

"You would know." Ian said laughing and Mickey raised his eyebrows and without warning tackled him back. 

Both started laughing and play fighting with the struggle to get on top of one another. 

"Oh yea! Mickey laughed. Your the one who attacked me last night."

"You asked me too! You said in your sexy voice 'fuck me' all breathy like a movie." Ian was cracking up. Mickey jabbed him in the side and they rolled over again, still laughing. 

Just then Ian was looking down on Mickey and felt his dick twitch. The friction between them along with the roughhousing seemed to have triggered something in both.

Smiles fell and Mickey bit his lip staring up at the ginger who was holding him down. Ian's green eyes widened and he licked his lips and swallowed. He was laying down on top of Mickey feeling his whole body tingle at the skin to skin contact. Ian dropped his head and brushed his lips over Mickey's. His mouth opened allowing him to enter and the kiss was slow and longing. Both tongues slowly moving against one another in a slow dance. Mickey lifted his palm to Ian's jaw to pull him even closer. Ian had placed his forearms outside of Mickeys shoulders and was holding his face in his palms while they slowly and languidly kissed each other. 

Neither one pulled back for air, you could hear the sliding of tongues and breaths starting to come in heavy. They held each others faces in place as they both relished in each others mouth. Mickey felt his legs drop further open and both their dicks hardened together. Mickey lifted his legs over Ian's waist and crossed them over his back to keep Ian in place. Both were moaning in the back of their throats, Ian was the first to pull his lips back a fraction of an inch to stare into clear blue eyes that were filled with lust, and something else he couldn't put his finger on. 

"Want you... want you Mick." He whispered to him.

Mickey flicked his tongue out to Ian's lips "Then have me." He replied.

Ian groaned and pulled back to grab another condom and more lube, he quickly rolled the condom on and poured a gracious amount of lube on himself before lining back up with Mickey's entrance. Ian slowly pushed his way in, inch by inch as he watched Mickey's mouth open to an 'O'. When he pushed all the way in reaching him to the hilt he pressed his body back on Mickey's and put his hands back on Mickeys face and slotted their mouths back together.

Mickey clasped his legs around Ian's waist as Ian filled him and started moving slowly in and out. 

Ian raised back his head "Open your eyes Mick, I want to see those eyes." Mickey opened his eyes and both became entranced green to blue. 

Mickey had never felt this close to someone. He never had face to face sex with a guy before. It was always quick fucks to get off. Here was Ian with his big green eyes staring at Mickey like he could see everything inside of him. Like he wanted to see everything. Almost like he was someone to him. 

Ian moved slowly in and out of Mickey all the while holding his face in place as they stared into one anothers eyes. Mickey was moaning softly as Ian continued pushing deeper and finally brushing Mickey's prostate. 

He ghosted his lips over Mickey's "You feel so good Mick, the best damn feeling I've ever had. Your so fucking gorgeous." He whispered against his lips, eyelids drooping but never closing, he could see and feel every part of Mickey. His soft pale skin was so beautiful. He could feel him tightening around him and he never wanted to stop this. This feeling right here, where Mickey seemed to be completely open with him. His beautiful blue eyes were crystal clear and his face was flushed and wasn't it the most beautiful thing Ian had ever seen. God, he never wanted to be away from him. He wanted him. He wanted him always to be this way. 

Mickey moaned again as Ian continued to brush his prostate "Ima cum Ian" he said moaning and tightening his legs around him. "Touch me please" he whined.

"No. Come like this, trust me." Ian said before putting his head down to take Mickey in an all consuming kiss that had him curling his toes.

Ian felt the hot cum coat their stomachs and thats all it took for him to empty himself inside the condom. He pulled back to look at Mickey in the eyes and what he saw made his heart constrict, he was looking at Ian like he was the only one in the world. Of course right now they were alone, but he could see it and it made his heart and stomach to somersaults. Slowly and gingerly he pulled out and away from Mickey.

Taking the condom off he tied it and threw it way. He grabbed the towel from the night and proceeded to clean himself and Mickey up. 

Ian sat at the edge of the bed with his back to Mickey and tried to catch his breath. The experience left him feeling a bit overwhelmed and he couldn't place the moment of feelings he had when he was buried inside of Mickey. He turned and saw that Mickey hadn't moved and was staring at the ceiling with his mouth tightly closed and his eyebrows squinched up like he was once again thinking hard.

"Hey, wanna grab something to eat? I'm starved." Ian asked gently shaking his hand on Mickey's thigh.

Snapping out of his thoughts he looked up at the redhead, cleared his throat "Yea let me take a shower, wanna join me?" He asked winking. He sensed the palpable thickness of tension after the intense fuck they just did and was trying to make light. He didn't want Ian to leave, he could admit that. 

Ian's smile could have lit up the room. "I definitely want to join you." They both ran off to the bathroom and as Mickey turned on the hot water he and Ian stepped inside letting the water wash away any fears and doubts that seemed to sprout up in both minds.

After a successful shower with deep kisses and roaming hands that turned to hand jobs and the once again release of both men the water had turned cold and they were forced out. After Mickey had brushed his teeth and gotten dressed, Mickey threw him a pair of underwear and told him there was an extra toothbrush under the sink. Ian got ready and they both headed out of the bedroom blissfully unaware of how domestic the morning had been. Stealing smiles as they walked out to the living room and a grab of Mickey's keys, they were both stopped by a very sarcastic and loud "WELL GOOD MORNING TO THE TWO LOVEBIRDS!" Mandy said.

Turning at the same time, Ian just laughed and Mickey flipped her off. "Gonna go eat , be back" and he was already out the door. Ian turned back to Mandy and smiled "we will be back." 

"So Patty's?" Mickey asked him lighting up a cigarette then passing it to him. 

Ian couldn't help but smile "You mean Patsy's pies?" with a grin.

"Whatever man. I want pancakes"

They walked closed together and shared the cigarette back and forth until it was gone. Both were in their own minds thinking over the events of last night and this morning. When they got to Patsy's pies, Ian stopped.

Mickey turned to him confused "What's wrong? You not hungry?" he questioned looking up at the redhead.

Ian looked around nervously and took a deep breath before turning back to the blue eyed man in front of him. He took another second to think about it and then decided. 

"Mickey..." Ian hesitated as his eyes darted around. 

"Spit it the fuck out firecrotch." Mickey demanded.

"I like you." Ian blurted out. "A lot." 

"Well I would hope so, seeing as we just spent the night together and I never spend the night with anyone." Mickey said raising his eyebrows. "Was that it?" he asked waving his hand impatiently.

Ian bit his lip and decided to bite the bullet. He wanted Mickey and he wanted to tell him. "No. I mean, I really like you. I want you to be mine. I don't want anyone else to have you. I don't want you with anyone else hooking up or otherwise. I want to be able to hold your fucking hand and kiss you whenever I want and show up to your house whenever I want. I want to know you, all of you. I want to spend the night whenever I want and I want to have dates with you and bring you home to me. I want you Mick. I want all of you. I know I must sound crazy right now and I'm sorry if that scares you, but I do. I want you. Something... I can't explain it, but I want you. Just you. All the time." Ian rushed out. 

Mickey's eyes widened and he took a step back. "I'm sorry Mick. I didn't mean to scare you, it's just how I feel and I always need to just say how I feel." Ian said. 

He could see Mickey struggling internally and the visible swallow from his adams apple going up and down. He looked down at the ground and he seemed to be battling some internal chaos inside of himself.

He finally spoke after what felt like an eternity to Ian "Look uh... I'm not really good at this. I don't do relationships like ever. I don't... I don't know how too." Mickey said softly still looking down. 

Ian swallowed and took a step toward him and lifted his face by the chin to look directly into his eyes "I'm not asking you to marry me Mickey. I just wanted you to know how I feel. How I hope you feel. But I know it's a lot. I won't rush you, I'm sorry I had to say it. I just really really like you."

Mickey's eyes were bright and shining and he felt like the air was back in his lungs after Ian spoke again. "Can we go get pancakes now?" He asked half smiling.

Ian in turn smiled "Yea Mick, let's go get you some pancakes."

**Author's Note:**

> There will be a second part. To be continued...


End file.
